Linda
Sept 16th 1986
a dancer
a dreamer
an imperfect perfectionist
her family
her frens
sunflowers
suntanning
smiling
being random
eLeen
haZeL
jAsmiNe
jAsOn
jess
Key
Laine
Lin
Matt
Ping
Seek
Suleen
Stace
teRence
WeiQi
Wenn
Winn
> i've moved..
> farewell
> MIA
> and so i hear..
> 10 things that i wanna do right away..
> random post
> they got talent.
> you
> it's a bitch when..
> dance uncensored 08
> September 2005
> October 2005
> November 2005
> December 2005
> January 2006
> February 2006
> March 2006
> April 2006
> May 2006
> June 2006
> July 2006
> August 2006
> September 2006
> October 2006
> November 2006
> December 2006
> January 2007
> February 2007
> March 2007
> April 2007
> May 2007
> June 2007
> July 2007
> August 2007
> September 2007
> October 2007
> November 2007
> December 2007
> January 2008
> February 2008
> March 2008
> April 2008
> May 2008
> July 2008
> February 2010
Designer: blueskyx* LG*
Edit: Adobe Photoshop CS2*
Fonts: Dafont*
Brushes: x
Image: o
Host: Blogger* Photobucket*
Thanks: Blogskins*
Artiste: Tanya Chua
Song Title: Beautiful Love
i am glad i have come this far. last paper on thu and VIOLA! i'm throwing all my notes and books away! haha.
this semester is a very HAPPENING one. ha. i never knew or even thought my semester would be like this. many many things. about me or around me. good and bad. not many good seriously. but hmm it depends which angle and point of view you are taking. be optimistic and u will find out that it's not so bad afterall. =)
so many broke ups this semester and i am not excluded too. i treat it as taking a break. really need a break. phew! it's gonna be a long ssssiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... ha. i can finally see some light coming from the other side of the road. have been in the tunnel for so long already. time to really move on. but seriously this question do pop by and appear in my mind: have i really moved on? well i really dun have the answer but i guess time will tell all. and most importantly, i wan to move on. with how things are going, and many things unravelling slowly and revealing itself one by one, i guess i just have to convince myself that there's no need to be so nice. i din like that outcome but at least i am glad that i realised.
the truth about human nature.
talking about this, i really wonder y is it that third parties and flings and affairs are happening nowadays? are those relationship so vulnerable and weak that either or both parties are unsatisfied with each other? if there's no mistakes done on either party, how would there be the entry of a third party? well, a person's antidote is anothers' venom. or.. does it boils down to lack of mutual trust and communication? hmm sounds like something that i would be interested in. Communication is a 2-way process whereby two parties alternatively listen, think and speak. It is inevitable and definitely an essential tool in maintaining any forms of relationship, be it love, frens or family. haa study too much about Communications and New Media. maybe i shud talk about Research Method.. my Thu paper. oh nvm. pardon my randomness.
HA! anyhows. the bottomline is: i think i shud really really move on. wat's the point of not moving on anyway?
sigh.. i am just not good at handling stuff.. and i am very sorry for that.
sometimes i wonder, do i put my happiness on others' misery? cos that would be the last thing that i would want to do, especially to my loved ones.
Human nature tells me people are selfish, and they try to make the situation appear as it is in your favour. yea.. somehow.
these days i should really reflect on myself. i know i am giving mysef too many excuses, so many that i cannot and have already run out of excuses for myself. probably some are true but no matter... it's already causing some hurt and disappointments and crappy feeling somewhere. i can feel it too. i can feel the pain too.
everyone are so stressed out due to exams. mood swings, attitudes, unwanted misery..
it's baddd.. how to stay focus?
AHHHHHHHHHH~ the cramps are killing me!!! argh. it's really REALLY baddd.. oh my gosh.. and i cannot focus but i cant afford to rest too. i hate it! i hate it!!ROAR!
adapted from yiwen's blog..
about you
You are a Visionary
Your imagination, self-assuredness, and knowledge of the world combine to make you a VISIONARY.
You have clear notions of how things could be, and the confidence to try to make them that way.
You enjoy having a routine, and prefer comfort and familiarity to risk and adventure.
Not needing others' approval to forge ahead, you are confident in your designs for the future.
Your imagination allows you to envision the world as a better place.
You're better at thinking of the big picture than you are with details, and you can see wonder in abstract things.
Style and appearances are important to you, and you have a good eye for beauty.
You are somewhat rigid in your beliefs, which comes from both confidence and an aversion to change.
You are good at creating works of art in forms with which you're familiar.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
Appreciate the earthly, functional elements of things.
Your clarity of vision sometimes prevents you from being open to new ideas. Try expanding your horizon of experiences, and experimenting with novel ways of doing things.
how you relate to others
You are Attentive
Because you like spending time with others, understand their feelings, and often know what is best for them, you are ATTENTIVE.
Some people are merely concerned about others, but you take action, helping people when you have the opportunity.
Although you care about others, you are hesitant to trust them to act in the best way on their own.
You don't let your concerns with people go unnoticed: if someone has hurt your feelings, that person will hear about it.
People energize and excite you—you are able to have fun and be yourself when you're around others.
You also learn a lot about yourself by talking things out with people, even if you don't always share things that are important to you.
You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and you're not hesitant to express yourself.
Understanding the dynamics of a situation is an important skill that you have, and you often intervene to clarify things for others.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
You care about people, but finding the ones you can truly trust will allow you to get closer to them.
While you have strong opinions about what is right and wrong in the world, you risk coming across as judgmental—be sure to consider different perspectives when voicing your opinion.
not exactly very true but well for the fun of it.. =)
so if u wanna uncover your true self here it is http://www.personaldna.com/
enjoy!
Introduction to Interactive Media sucks.. haha had my first paper today and i think it will definitely CHUI.. sheesh.. i stare at the question paper and they stare back at me as if we were strangers.. my gosh la.. my first reaction was actually tellin myself to work even harder for the rest of my papers.. lol.. i hope i can.. this module sure die.. it doesnt help when the lecturer is super uber bias.. she dun even recognise me when i am in her tutorial class can??
i think i kinda give up on that module even before i enter the examination venue.. but hack.. it's over haha.. i cant possibly let this module bring down my whole morale for the exams.. i can now only pin on the hope that my smoke-thru skills can give me a not too shabby grade for this module.. i really hate to see my cap to drop back to under 3. it willl really suck BIG time.
btw saw this IQ test from yiwenn's blog and i decided to try..
hmm afterall i mite not be a B.I.M.B.O rite?
"yiwenn, we should be called the smart sisters instead rightey?" HAHA.. so.. i am quite brilliant indeed.. lolx.
alrites.. back to books.. on a side note.. IKEA food is really good! :)
静静地陪你走了好远好远
连眼睛红了都没有发现
听着你说你现在的改变
看着我依然最爱你的笑脸
这条旧路依然没有改变
以往的每次路过都是晴天
想起我们有过的从前
泪水就一点一点开始蔓延
我转过我的脸不让你看见
深藏的暗涌已经越来越明显
过完了今天就不要再见面
我害怕每天醒来想你好几遍
我吻过你的脸
你双手曾在我的双肩
感觉有那么甜我那么依恋
每当我闭上眼
我总是可以看见
失信的诺言全部都会实现
我吻过你的脸
虽然你不在我的身边
我还是祝福你过得好一点
短开的感情线
我不要做断点
只想在睡前再听见你的蜜语甜言
can i just tear my heart apart? so i dun feel anymore?
my body clock is super uber SCREWED!!! from 4am to 5am den 6am and progressively to 10 am.. i am going mad.. oh gosh.. i really Really REALLY have to sleep early!!! i cant possibly wake up at like 4 or 5pm rite? lidat i would definitely miss my exams.. thanks man.. that would be the last thing i would ever wanna go thru..
okay okayy.. back to study!!
Quote from Jason..
live for the moment.
follow your heart,
and surely trying times will pass.
i want to believe that.. but seriously it's easier said than done..
especially not for someone who is weak minded.
Have faith in everything you do. Like what pple always say.. We must have HOPE!!
Focus on exams and nothing else since it is the only important thing rite now.
This is a scary semester..
you never know til you experience it yourself..
i really really dread to keep thinking about this and i blame myself for being distracted and make myself feel awful right now. there is really so many things going on now, that i think i am going crazy. i wanna ask WHY am i facing so many difficulties this semester. sometimes i ask myself why am i going thru all this and the only answer i can give myself is that i am realy not good at handling these kind of stuff. if only i had one less thing to worry about my family.
i guess where matters of the heart are concerned, nobody is exactly right or wrong. i can say i really cant be bothered with wat others think, cos i know they dont know me so they will just make believe what is portrayed to them on surface. but... wat i really care are those pple who know me and still judge me the same way as the others.. maybe.. maybe they dont know me well enuff.. it is only natural that pple judge i understand, and i am guilty of such judgement too.. are you guilty of such judgement too? but they are pple i care about, and it just hurts when they thot the same way as others do too.
yes you may think i am trying to defend myself. yes i guess i am. but who doesnt when things are not exactly the way pple think? moreover, this is my blog, yes a public one, but i am just writing how i feel, pple read, they read, for those who doesnt, well den so be it. definitely not everyone has to know the whole matter, i mite not even matter to them. just a talking point for them i guess. but i extremely hate it when pple defend and distort the truth to suit their story. how can one assume their thots and impose on another person? the thing is if thats how you think, it's fine.. but it's bad when one thinks that way and announce to the world that it is that way. it is no difference from those gossipers who spread rumours any way they think it seems more juicy to others. i hate it when you sounded as if you are in the right. and you jolly well knew that you have brought all this upon urself. sorry for being harsh but i feel that i dun wish to talk abt what you did so explicitly such that everyone knows what you did. but you just had to do it. i think that is quite childish. but well, it is your own blog, you have the right to say anything and i will and should not tell you what to say cos it's ridiculous.. i admit i should not have lied to you but wat i really did wrong is that i did not settle things properly and things heat up.. so now i am the villian.
i totally agree that once the scar is there, no matter how insignificant the scar is, it will always be there. and precisely that is one of the reason why i know i cant continue. one scar.. you may use something to conceal it and it may still not be visible.. two scars.. you use back the same method.. so what if there's many scars? you know.. it will just accumulate and when u realise it, those numerous scars can no longer be concealed anymore..
ive cried so many nights but do you ever know? and its all because of you, do you ever realised? it's not only one or two chance we are talking about.. why do pple only try when they finally realise the one they have always wanted is gone? why cant pple do something when there is still hope? why do they only admit their mistakes when it is too late? you think i have moved on? i dun think so.
the more i think of what you have done and doin now, the more i feel there is no point. cos you still dun understand. i find it kinda crazy to want to rebut. and i think i shud not, and i did not. cos all along, the reason why this does not work out is really really really not cos of a third party which you always assume that is the cause. you are trying to be stronger, and i can tell you i have went past that phase already. i hope and i think i am stronger already. i am so tired of saying this but you yourself should be guilty of saying one, but doin another.
There is always two sides to a story and i guess your version is just too harsh..
why make the whole situation so ugly as if you will benefit from it? it just disgust me, totally.
i just feel more upset when pple pass untrue judgement about me when they are not even involved or understand the whole situation. dun assume or pretend you know it. cos you just simply dun. seriously, if that's how others think, so be it.. i wun even care or bother to make much explanation to pple who are just plain ignorant. if you are truly concerned, pls ask and be sure of the whole matter before you pass any unfair judgement about the whole issue.
it's complicated. the reality is just ugly. and you just have to accept it.. just like how i did.
just for clarifications for the ignorant ones: the you in this context does not necessarily refer to any particular person. thanks.
it's painful.. it sure is painful. it's not easy you know.. i had a hard time struggling too..
...
...
...
...
... many silence... i wrote and backspaced a lot.. i dunno what to say.. i really dun wish to see this happening.. i feel very terrible too.. it was not a decision exactly that i can make.. or able to make.. i really cant decide.. but the truth took over.. i had no choice but to end this.. i hate to face this and i know i have been trying to avoid the reality.. not to think is impossible.. i dare not say i will not regret this outcome, this decision.. but this is not a rash impulse act.. i did think for quite sometime.. and my mind is set.. i can only tell myself that i will try not to look back... i will try.. i try...
very familiar word.. try... i guess it does gives some leeway rite?
i felt tears coming out uncontrollably as i type all this.. many memories flashes by.. and i ask myself are you sure on this? i cant bear to let go.. but at the same time i know somehow i had to.. drag mite make things worse.. is this gonna be the last time i cry for you after so many heartbreaks? maybe cos i cant find any reason to defend for you anymore.. maybe this time i am really very disappointed.. it's not just you.. it's me too.. i cant convince myself..
i can never look into your eyes like i always did..
i can never talk to you the same way i always did..
i can never rush into your room after lesson and dance pracs like i always do..
i can never go to your room to find you as and when i feel like seeing you..
i can never go to your room and kop your food and drinks like i always do..
i can never run into your arms like i always do..
i can never hug you like before..
i can never kiss you like before..
i can never pinch your cheeks like you always do to me..
i can never ask you to piggy back me whenever i want to..
i can never call you my dear..
i can never hold your hands anymore..
i can never love you the same way i did before..
i can never... i can never ever...
.. cos everything is no longer the same anymore..
i know that was the last time that i can ever hold your hand lidat.. i will try to get used to it.. i think i will.. and i have to..
and you know wat? i never knew i really love you this much. til now. but it's over.. really over.
argh~ this is getting tougher..
i am losing focus!!! AAHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
let's get everything over and done with!! (projects, assignments, people and the stupid exams...)
yea.. easier said than done..