The Girl

Sept 16th 1986
a dancer
a dreamer
an imperfect perfectionist


her family
her frens
being random

Sweet Escape

Precious days

> i am so disappointed with myself. my results is a...
> Went out with *Dear today.. finally!! did some sh...
> i am not in netball main team.. =( haa.. no la i ...
> today is a very sianx day!! i have practically no...
> i received a letter from NUS when i went home last...
> yes i know. i know. i have been missing for 5 days...
> Thanks to all who has tagged mi, or msged mi or sh...
> i think i am going thru an emotional torture now.....
> drinking makes you lose ur voice drinking makes yo...
> today's the start of mi intense trainings that's g...

Past Memories

> September 2005
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> December 2005
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> February 2006
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> July 2006
> August 2006
> September 2006
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> February 2010

Your Say

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Thanks To

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Artiste: Tanya Chua
Song Title: Beautiful Love
Tuesday, December 27, 2005

i wanna end this as soon as pOssible.. it is NOT onli you who wanna settle this.. i kept quiet cos i dunno how to settle.. but well.. since you brought it up.. it cud be good in a way.. i dunno how u find ur way here.. by chance, by hook or by crook.. i dun care.. since you read mi blog.. den this is for you..

please dun make urself the onli victim in this relationship.. you mite think it is all mOi fault.. but seriously it all bOiLs down to the fact dat you take things to seriously and like to assume.. most importantly too stubbOrn.. becOs rite from the start, i have never ever said that i Like you.. it was onli pure one-sided love.. the reason dat i have been nice to you is becOs you have been very good to mi and i know dat.. but that does not mean there's love on mi part.. you have to get this straight.. and i merely liked you as a fren.. becos i enjoyed ur company as a fren.. tiL you became obsessed with mi.. and i felt myself being very trapped.. very trapped inside ur love for mi.. making myself very hard to breathe..

i know i had been giving you the cold shoulders but that was becOs ur persistency and checking on mi (to you, it was a form of concern, to mi, it was a little too much when we r just frenz) are gettin on mi nerves.. i guess i have been spoiled by you.. hence resulted in mi takin you for granted.. i am not blaming you for this.. i am just telling you..

i do not deny i did let you down.. and i am very sorry on that.. but then again.. i did not promise you anything.. and if you realised i did rejected you many times.. and you know that.. i thot by telling you that i had a boyfren wud stop you from likin mi.. i thot you wud just give up on mi.. but instead.. it resulted otherwise..

and that is when mi attitude towards turn bad.. which u deemed as nasty.. it was not intentional.. believe or not.. and now.. things turn for the worst.. well it cud be in a way a good thing as it meant that u finally realised what's happening.. you can scold mi a bitch or watever names you can think of.. but i am definitely not tryin to make use of you.. even if i really did.. i din do it on purpose.. i am definitely not that kind of gals..

Wat i see of us? two stupid pple trying to quarrel and being petty... y can't we just settle it peacefully.. as in i see this as a revenge from you.. just becOs i left you with no chOice in the past.. and you r leaving mi with no choice now.. you do this on purpose.. and you know where are mi weaknesses.. this isn't gonna leave things settled.. so wat if u get back wat you want.. in ur heart u will never be able to leave this aside.. and you know that! on mi part, even if i give you back watever u want.. at least i know i can live a better life in future.. becos after all this shit.. i wiLL have nothing to do with you anymore and you wud have no reason to pester mi anymore.. i have nothing to lose.. by leaving in such a way.. we both know never is it possible for us to talk, not even like total strangers since things will be so different, so awkward and so disgusting..

you know you dun need those stuff.. but wat i feel is that u hate to see mi living happily and blissful.. while you.. still a pathetic "..." (well i shant continue) who still be shadowed by the past and unable to open up.. even thou you can get watever things you wan in life.. you are just plain jealous that i can move on and you can't.. dun tell mi stuffs like you r just tryin to have nothing with mi anymore that's y u wanna get back those things which u had gave mi.. crap! wat u r doing now is just to make mi in a difficult situation since you jolly well know where i am most vulnerable..

in that case, i wanna tell you.. well done! you got wat u intend to.. making mi suffer in depression which in the first place i shud not have.. i know i have been in such a state since start of december.. and pple can tell that.. even when i smiled.. it's not as bright as before.. and i hate this too..

well, wat can i say..? we are both at fault.. one who lead things on.. and the other too stubborn and overly persistent and possessive.. watever!!

-Sign Off @ 1:00 PM :)